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A Few Jokes To Make Your Monday Better

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Sometimes Mondays can be a bit much – so here are some tidbits of humor to make it a bit better.

Monday is tough since it marks the transition back to a work routine after a weekend of relaxation, often leading to feelings of stress, deadlines, and news. While Gen Z has an increase in axinety, in general people seem to be on edge.  Over 25% people are highly stressed, but laughter can help. Well, it turns out laughter can make a difference, from helping reduce anxiety to improving mood and relieving pain.  To help, here are a few jokes ot make your Monday better.

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A guy opens his door to find a snail on the porch. He throws it as far as he can. Three years later, the same snail returns and says, “What the hell was that all about?”

A man sees a “Talking Dog for Sale” sign. The dog claims to have rescued avalanche victims and served in Iraq. When asked why he’s selling it, the owner replies, “Because he’s a liar!”

A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, “How long have you been wearing that bra?” The friend replies, “Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment.”

A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap. He’s telling a dumb-blonde joke when a young platinum-haired beauty jumps to her feet.
“What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way?” she demands. “What does hair color have to do with my worth as a human being?”
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer out an apology.
“You keep out of this!” she yells. “I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!”

A horse walks into a bar. The shocked bartender points a finger his way in alarm and yells, “Hey!”
The horse says, “You read my mind, buddy.”

A gorilla walks into a bar and says, “A scotch on the rocks, please.” The gorilla hands the bartender a $10 bill. The bartender thinks to himself, “This gorilla doesn’t know the prices of drinks,” and gives him 15 cents change.
The bartender says, “You know, we don’t get too many gorillas in here.” The gorilla replies, “Well, at $9.85 a drink, I ain’t coming back, either.”

Why does a chicken coup only have 2 doors? If it had 4, it’d be a chicken sedan.

And, why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!

What concert costs 45 cents?

50 Cent featuring Nickelback!

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.

Why don’t sharks eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One’s pretty heavy, and the other’s a little lighter.

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
“Supplies!”



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Consumption

MARY Fest 2025: Brooklyn’s Ultimate Cannabis Lifestyle Experience

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New York’s premier cannabis lifestyle festival is set to take over Brooklyn on Saturday, April 19, 2025. MARY Fest—curated by the team behind MARY Magazine—is an immersive experience blending cannabis, fashion, music, health and wellness, design, and technology into a one-day festival that connects brands with consumers in an authentic and engaging environment.

https://stupiddope.com/2025/02/mary-fest-2025-brooklyns-ultimate-cannabis-lifestyle-experience/



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Consumption

Take a Ride on This Cannabis-Friendly Black History Tour of Denver

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All aboard! The Cannabis Experience, Colorado’s first-ever licensed mobile consumption lounge, is rolling out its Roots, Rhythm and Reefer tour — a love letter to Black history in Denver that blends education, cannabis and culture. The BYOB (bring your own bud) tour lasts about ninety minutes and kicks off in historic Five Points, once known as the Harlem of the West. There, guests make a quick pitstop at Denver Kush Club to stock up on goodies and spark up.

https://www.westword.com/marijuana/take-a-ride-cannabis-friendly-black-history-tour-of-denver-23145062



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Chile

Why Do Whales Keep Swallowing People

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The are portrayed as sweet, kind and fun, but what’s up with them downing people like jello shooters?

The open waters are full of potential dangers including sharks, jellyfish, people on jet skis and more….but there is a new one recently which is surprising everyone. Why do whales keep swallowing people.  The chance of a whale swallowing you is smaller than winning the Powerball, but it is happening…and science isn’t quite sure why.

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There have been a few extraordinary incidents where people have been swallowed by whales, sparking both fascination and concern. These events, though extremely rare, have garnered significant attention due to their unusual nature. Such incidents are rare because whales generally do not target humans as prey. Humpback whales, for example, feed on small fish and plankton using baleen, making it physically impossible for them to swallow a human whole.

Why Do Whales Keep Swallowing People

In the last couple of days, a humpback whale briefly swallowed a 24-year-old kayaker last Saturday during a father-son excursion out on the icy waters around Chile’s southernmost Patagonia region. After being spat out of the whale, the son swam towards his dad’s pack raft and holds onto it as they pull away.

Another documented case is Michael Packard, a lobster diver from Massachusetts. In June 2021, Packard was briefly swallowed by a humpback whale while diving off the coast of Provincetown. He managed to survive with minor injuries, including soft tissue damage and a dislocated knee. Experts believe that poor visibility and the whale’s feeding behavior likely contributed to this accidental encounter.

Two girls were swallowed by a humpback whale while kayaking in California. The whale spat them out after a few seconds, highlighting the accidental nature of such incidents.

In addition, Since 2020, orcas off the Iberian Peninsula have been attacking sailboats, with at least three vessels sunk and hundreds damaged. These coordinated attacks typically involve orcas targeting the rudder, often approaching from the stern. Scientists believe that a traumatic event, possibly involving a female orca named White Gladis, may have triggered this behavior, which is then imitated by other orcas. Theories suggest the attacks could be for hunting practice or revenge. Despite the incidents, no human fatalities have been reported, but sailors are increasingly concerned about safety in these waters.

Whales, particularly humpbacks, feed by lunging through the water with their mouths wide open to engulf schools of fish. If something lies directly in their path, they might not always detect or avoid it in time. This feeding behavior, combined with factors like poor visibility, can lead to accidental encounters with humans.  So it is always good to be clear of you environment and what type of wildlife frequent the area.



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