Sometimes Mondays can be a bit much – so here are some tidbits of humor to make it a bit better.
Monday is tough since it marks the transition back to a work routine after a weekend of relaxation, often leading to feelings of stress, deadlines, and news. While Gen Z has an increase in axinety, in general people seem to be on edge. Over 25% people are highly stressed, but laughter can help. Well, it turns out laughter can make a difference, from helping reduce anxiety to improving mood and relieving pain. To help, here are a few jokes ot make your Monday better.
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A guy opens his door to find a snail on the porch. He throws it as far as he can. Three years later, the same snail returns and says, “What the hell was that all about?”
A man sees a “Talking Dog for Sale” sign. The dog claims to have rescued avalanche victims and served in Iraq. When asked why he’s selling it, the owner replies, “Because he’s a liar!”
A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, “How long have you been wearing that bra?” The friend replies, “Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment.”
A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap. He’s telling a dumb-blonde joke when a young platinum-haired beauty jumps to her feet.
“What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way?” she demands. “What does hair color have to do with my worth as a human being?”
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer out an apology.
“You keep out of this!” she yells. “I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!”
A horse walks into a bar. The shocked bartender points a finger his way in alarm and yells, “Hey!”
The horse says, “You read my mind, buddy.”
A gorilla walks into a bar and says, “A scotch on the rocks, please.” The gorilla hands the bartender a $10 bill. The bartender thinks to himself, “This gorilla doesn’t know the prices of drinks,” and gives him 15 cents change.
The bartender says, “You know, we don’t get too many gorillas in here.” The gorilla replies, “Well, at $9.85 a drink, I ain’t coming back, either.”
Why does a chicken coup only have 2 doors? If it had 4, it’d be a chicken sedan.
And, why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!
What concert costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.
Why don’t sharks eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One’s pretty heavy, and the other’s a little lighter.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
“Supplies!”
