Culture

Can You Life-Hack Your Way To Love

Published

1 year ago

September 29, 2023

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There’s never been a shortage of dating advice from family, friends and self-help authors. Yet in the digital age, people are also turning to nerdy hacker-types as guides.

At first, they might seem like an odd source of romantic advice, but think again: Computer programmers created the systems of quizzes, swipes and algorithms that millions rely on for matchmaking. Who better to explain how to make the most of these digital tools?

This new approach to dating takes advantage of the power of data. “Quantitative futurist” Amy Webb, for instance, created a handful of fake accounts depicting the types of men she wanted to marry and learned what her highly-rated competitors’ profiles looked like. After applying these insights to her own profile, she became the most popular woman on JDate, an online dating site for Jewish people. Mathematician Christopher McKinlay similarly hacked his profile on OkCupid and crawled thousands of profiles to identify the clusters of women he most wanted to target.

With hundreds of candidates in hand, both had to then filter the field: Webb created a sophisticated spreadsheet, and McKinlay went on 88 dates. In the end, each found a spouse.

All of this is part of a new approach to life, as a thing to be hacked and optimized by way of a quantified self.

People track what they eat, the hours they work, the items they own and countless other details, hoping to experience better health, improved productivity and greater contentment. However, in my forthcoming book, “Hacking Life: Systematized Living and its Discontents,” I reveal how the quest for the optimum path can lead you astray. In the case of dating, trying to optimize can be foolishly naive and misunderstand the nature of the task.

Counting on love

Consider the case of former software engineer Valerie Aurora, who in 2015 returned to the dispiriting task of online dating. This time, she hoped she might make the experience palatable, fun even, by hacking dating. Inspired by Webb, Aurora developed a spreadsheet for ranking candidates with positive and negative attributes, including flaws that were so bad they were “dealbreakers.”

However, with experience, Aurora realized that she had been too inflexible about dealbreakers. She wrote, “I am now in a happy relationship with someone who had six of what I labeled ‘dealbreakers’ when we met. And if he hadn’t been interested in working those issues out with me, we would not be dating today. But he was, and working together we managed to resolve all six of them to our mutual satisfaction.”

It is a mistake to believe that an ideal match is somewhere out there, just waiting to be rated and ranked. Instead, people invest and grow in their relationship. A good match can be found, but psychology research suggests a good relationship is made.

Searching far and wide

Taking a data-centric approach can also lead to a never-ending search. Technology entrepreneur Sebastian Stadil went on 150 dates in four months – more than one a day! At the end, he wrote, “I still believe technology can hack love, though that belief is likely irrational.” He confessed that “having more matches increased my odds of finding someone interesting, but it also became an addiction. The possibility of meeting that many people made me want to meet every one of them, to make sure I wouldn’t miss the One.”

It’s a paradox of choice in the digital age: A better match could be just one more date – and data-point – away. Hackers who know their computer science recognize this as the puzzle of “optimal stopping,” which seeks to determine how long someone should hold out for a better option.

There is no perfect solution, but there is a reasonable formula: Figure out your parameters, like how soon you want to be in a relationship and how many dates you want to go on in search of the right person. Say you’ve given yourself a year and 100 dates – two a week. The math says you should go on dates with 37 percent of them without committing, and then – after the 37th person and about four and a half months – pursue the first person who’s better than all the others you’ve met.

Of course, this still assumes that the problem of starting a relationship is a matter of quantity, measurement and optimization. Aurora’s experience suggests that making a match is as much about interpersonal negotiation as it is about data and analysis.

Joseph Reagle is an Associate Professor of Communication Studies at Northeastern University.

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Cannabis

A Look At Martin Luther King And Cannabis

Published

7 hours ago

January 20, 2025

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MLK shared a vision about building a fabric of society, including everyone and working together. Can this happen with the marijuana industry?

The swearing in a new president always gives hope. The cannabis industry has seen 3 presidents, none who have helped move the industry truly forward. The public has had a change of heart and now almost 90% believe it should be legal in some form. The major medical associations and federal agencies (aside from the Drug Enforcement Adminstration) believe it has medical value. And yet, our older, white politicians see it for something it is not. Thousands of mom and pop business are hoping for a change to help them on their ladder to the American dreams. And tens of millions are turning to marijuana to not only solve medical problems, but to wean themselves off the more dangerous alcohol. Here is a look at Martin Luther King and cannabis.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. is widely recognized for his pivotal role in the American civil rights movement, advocating for racial equality and justice. Although he did not publicly address cannabis use during his lifetime, his principles resonate deeply with contemporary discussions surrounding marijuana legalization and the broader implications of drug policy on social justice.

The prohibition of cannabis in the United States has roots in racial discrimination and social control. The Marihuana Tax Act of 1937, which effectively criminalized marijuana, was influenced by prejudiced attitudes towards minority communities, particularly targeting Mexican immigrants. This historical context is crucial when examining how the “War on Drugs” has disproportionately affected people of color, echoing the systemic injustices that King fought against.

Many scholars and activists argue if King were alive today, he would likely advocate for an end to the War on Drugs, recognizing it as a continuation of racial oppression. Michelle Alexander, in her influential work “The New Jim Crow,” highlights how the drug war has perpetuated cycles of racial injustice and mass incarceration. Statistics reveal that Black individuals are arrested for cannabis offenses at rates significantly higher than their white counterparts, despite similar usage rates. This disparity aligns with King’s vision of equality and justice for all.

As discussions around cannabis legalization continue to evolve, figures like Martin Luther King III emphasize the importance of equity in the cannabis industry. He advocates for creating opportunities for marginalized communities to participate in this burgeoning market. This aligns with King’s broader vision of building a “beloved community” where economic and social justice prevail.

A large portion of industry leaders who were involved in the incoming president’s campaign are hopeful. Millions of average people want it, millions more need it for medical issues, and thousands of small business owned by a variety of people want it, will this administration take the step forward?

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All You Can Eat

Marijuana Can Help You Sleep Late This Weekend

Published

3 days ago

January 17, 2025

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The holidays and then back to work to a busy 2025 – relax and sleep late this 3 day weekend with a little help from cannabis

First came the holidays and then boom, back to work. After 5 weeks of making merry, all the meetings, work things and more have accumulated and it is back to work in wintery weather. Add the news and short days – it can be a little disheartening. Taking time for a relaxing, indulgence sleeping in sounds great – but sometimes the body is too wound up. Well, marijuana can help you sleep late this weekend – and maybe help your body unwind.

The relationship between cannabis and sleep is complex and multifaceted. Cannabis primarily affects sleep through its interaction with the endocannabinoid system in the brain. The active compounds, particularly tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) and cannabidiol (CBD), bind to cannabinoid receptors, promoting sleep by increasing levels of adenosine, a neurotransmitter that encourages sleepiness, and suppressing arousal signals in the brain. THC is known to reduce rapid eye movement (REM) sleep while increasing deep, slow-wave sleep, which is considered restorative.

7 Things To Keep In Mind When Using Cannabis As A Sleep Aid — Photo by Kinga Cichewicz via Unsplash

For many users, marijuana can provide short-term benefits such as faster sleep onset and improved sleep quality during the first half of the night. A significant portion of users report that cannabis helps them relax both mentally and physically, leading to deeper and more uninterrupted sleep. This is particularly beneficial for individuals suffering from conditions like chronic pain, PTSD, or restless legs syndrome, where cannabis may alleviate symptoms that interfere with sleep.

Despite the short-term benefits, experts caution against long-term reliance on marijuana for sleep. Research indicates habitual use can lead lack of sleep, increased awakenings during the night and fragmented sleep patterns. Over time, users may find that the initial benefits diminish, leading to a cycle where insomnia returns more severely upon cessation of use. Like most sleep aids, this is for occasional use and not a nightly routine.

Interestingly, surveys reveal that nearly 25% of Americans occasionally use marijuana to help with sleep. This trend is particularly pronounced among younger generations. Over 50% of Gen Z express high stress and the need to relax.

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alcohol

The Best Cocktails For This Winter 3 Day Weekend

Published

3 days ago

January 17, 2025

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The first 3-day weekend of the year is a reason to kick back or have an adventure – and here are cocktails to accompany the ride!

The year has started with a bang and now we are rolling into the first 3 Day weekend – ending in the presidential inauguration. Skiing, hiking, travel, chilling or politics…what better way to compliment the activity than with something tasty. Here are the best cocktails for this winter 3 day weekend.

Original Sin

What better way to start a 3 Day weekend and Inauguration weekend then with a little indulgence in with the original sin. The drink has multiple recipes – including one iwth absinthe, but this one should be easy, tasty and a perfect way to kick off the weekend.

Ingredients

2 ounces chilled champagne
1 ounce brandy
Splash of triple sec
Splash of grenadine
Orange twist for garnish

Create

Combine ingredients in a brand snifter
Stir and add ice cube to chill to taste
Garnish with orange twist

The Americana Cocktail

Wha better way to celebrate Martin Luther King Day with an all American drink and a vision of a better tomorrow. This drink is tasty and potent.

Ingredients

1 sugar cube (we prefer a demerara sugar cube)
4 dashes of Angostura bitters
1 ounce bourbon
2 ounces Brut Champagne
Orange slice for garnish

Create

Coat the sugar cube well with the Angostura bitters – approximately 4 dashes
Drop the sugar cube into a chilled flute
Pour the bourbon over the sugar
Top up with the Champagne.
Garnish with an orange slice

Whiskey Smash

Why not try something different. You might not want to get smashed this weekend, but this cocktail can trace its origin back to the late 1800s. Tasty, refreshing and easy to make. Great way to delight your taste buds.

2 oz. Bourbon
¼ Lemon, cut into chunks
½ oz. simple syrup
8-10 Mint leaves
Garnish: Mint sprig

Create

Muddle the lemon in a shaker
Add simple syrup, mint leaves, and bourbon
Shake with ice for 20 seconds
Strain into ice filled highball glass
Garnish with a mint sprig

RELATED: Rainy Weather Cocktails

Frostbite

Weather skiing, hiking, road tripping or hanging out in DC – chances are the weather is going to be nippy. Why not lean into it and have this spicy frostbite to feel cozy and warm on the inside?

Ingredients