Ah yes, it’s that magical time of year again when Ganja Clause slides down the chimney to visit all the good little stoners. The lights are twinkling, the fire is crackling, and the sweet aroma of cannabis-infused treats fills the air. As someone who’s spent years experimenting with cannabis cuisine, I’ve learned that the holidays present the perfect opportunity to elevate traditional recipes to new heights.

To help make your holidaze more “dazey,” I’ve crafted five festive recipes that combine seasonal favorites with our favorite herb. These dishes aren’t just about getting high – they’re about creating memorable experiences and new traditions. But before we dive in, I need to emphasize something crucial: dosing is always important, and you should NEVER give these recipes to anyone without their explicit consent. While sharing is caring, tricking someone into consuming cannabis is not only unethical but potentially illegal. Always clearly label your infused treats and keep them safely away from children and unsuspecting guests.

With those important notes out of the way, let’s get into these magical recipes that will make your holiday season extra special.

Look, we all know eggnog is a holiday staple, but why not kick it up a notch? This cannabis-infused version will have you feeling jolly in no time. Just remember – this isn’t your grandma’s recipe (unless your grandma is really cool).

What You’ll Need:

• 4 cups milk (or non-dairy alternative if that’s your jam)

• 1 cup heavy cream (or coconut cream for you plant-based folks)

• 6 egg yolks (fresh is best, trust me)

• 1/2 cup sugar

• 1 tsp vanilla extract

• 1/2 tsp ground nutmeg

• 1 tbsp cannabis tincture or cannabis-infused syrup

The Magic Process:

1. Start by heating your milk and cream in a saucepan. You want it hot but not boiling – we’re making eggnog, not scrambled eggs.

2. In a separate bowl, whisk those egg yolks, sugar, and vanilla until they’re well combined and looking smooth.

3. Here’s the tricky part: slowly (and I mean SLOWLY) add the hot milk mixture to your egg mixture while whisking constantly. If you dump it all in at once, you’ll end up with sweet scrambled eggs, and nobody wants that.

4. Pour everything back into your saucepan and cook over medium heat, stirring constantly until it thickens enough to coat the back of a spoon.

5. Remove from heat, stir in that nutmeg, and let it cool a bit before adding your cannabis tincture or syrup.

6. Chill thoroughly before serving.

Pro tip: Start with a small serving – this stuff can creep up on you!

Want to elevate your holiday meal? This gravy will take your feast to new heights. It’s perfect for drowning those mashed potatoes or smothering that turkey.

The Goods:

• 2 cups chicken or vegetable stock

• 1/4 cup all-purpose flour

• 1/4 cup cannabis butter (cannabutter)

• 1/2 tsp salt

• 1/4 tsp black pepper

• 1 tbsp chopped fresh herbs (thyme or rosemary work great)

The How-To:

1. Melt your cannabutter over medium heat in a saucepan. Watch it carefully – burnt butter is not the vibe we’re going for.

2. Whisk in the flour to create your roux. Cook it for about 1-2 minutes to get rid of that raw flour taste.

3. Now, slowly pour in your stock while whisking like your life depends on it. No lumps allowed!

4. Add your seasonings and herbs.

5. Keep stirring and simmering until it reaches your desired thickness.

6. Taste and adjust seasonings if needed (before you get too lifted).

Remember: Label this clearly! You don’t want Aunt Martha accidentally pouring this all over her plate without knowing what’s up.

Forget that canned stuff – this homemade cranberry sauce with a special twist will have everyone at the table asking for seconds (though you might want to limit them to just one serving).

The Ingredients:

Getting Saucy:

1. Toss your cranberries, OJ, and sugar into a saucepan over medium heat.

2. Let it cook until those cranberries start popping like tiny little fireworks (about 10 minutes).

3. Once it’s thickened up nicely, remove from heat.

4. Here comes the fun part – stir in your cannabis-infused honey or tincture.

5. Let it cool completely before serving.

Pro tip: Make two batches – one regular and one infused. Just make sure to label them clearly!

These aren’t your regular sweet potatoes – they’re elevated sweet potatoes. Perfect for getting baked while getting baked.

What You Need:

• 4 large sweet potatoes

• 1/2 cup cannabis butter (cannabutter)

• 1/4 cup brown sugar

• 1 tsp ground cinnamon

• 1/2 tsp ground nutmeg

• Salt to taste

• Marshmallows (optional, but highly recommended)

The Method:

1. Preheat your oven to 375°F (190°C).

2. Bake those sweet potatoes until they’re tender (about an hour).

3. Once they’re cool enough to handle, peel and mash them up.

4. Mix in your cannabutter, brown sugar, and spices.

5. Transfer to a baking dish.

6. If you’re feeling extra, top with marshmallows.

7. Bake for another 20-30 minutes until everything’s golden brown and gorgeous.

Warning: These are dangerously delicious – pace yourself!

This warm, spicy cider will lift your spirits in more ways than one. Perfect for those chilly winter nights.

The Essentials:

The Process:

1. Pour your cider into a large pot.

2. Add your cinnamon sticks, cloves, and orange slices.

3. Heat until it just starts to bubble, then reduce to a simmer.

4. Add your cannabis-infused maple syrup (or add tincture to individual cups for controlled dosing).

5. Let everything mingle and get cozy for about 20 minutes.

6. Serve it up warm with an orange slice or cinnamon stick garnish.

Pro tip: Keep a non-infused batch warming for designated drivers and non-partaking guests.

Remember folks, the key to a successful Dankmas feast is clear labeling and careful dosing. Nothing ruins a holiday gathering quite like someone getting unexpectedly zooted. Happy cooking, and may your holidays be dank and delightful!

There you have it, folks – five unique ways to spice up your Dankmas traditions and make the season truly memorable. As someone who’s hosted many cannabis-friendly holiday gatherings, I can’t stress enough the importance of starting slow with these recipes. Edibles can take anywhere from 30 minutes to two hours to fully kick in, and you definitely don’t want to overdo it during family dinner. I strongly recommend doing a test run with different dosages before the big day to find your sweet spot.

What I love most about these recipes is that they offer a fantastic alternative for those looking to skip the traditional alcohol-heavy holiday celebrations. Cannabis provides a more natural way to unwind and connect with loved ones during this special time of year. Plus, you won’t have to worry about a hangover the next morning!

Remember to celebrate responsibly, be open about what’s infused and what isn’t, and most importantly, enjoy the magic of the season. Happy Dankmas to all, and to all a good height!

MORE DANKMAS STORIES, READ ON…

THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS BY GANJA CLAUSE!

The landscape of cannabis legislation in the United States has been a complex and evolving issue, particularly concerning banking regulations. As of December 2024, it has become official: the current Congress will not provide any protections for banks that serve state-legal marijuana businesses. This decision has significant implications for the cannabis industry, which continues to grow rapidly despite the lack of federal support. In this article, we will explore the reasons behind this decision, the implications for cannabis businesses, and the broader context of cannabis legalization in America.

The State of Cannabis Legalization

 A Growing Industry

The cannabis industry has seen remarkable growth over the past decade. As of late 2024, 23 states and Washington D.C. have legalized recreational marijuana use, while 38 states allow medical marijuana. According to recent estimates, the legal cannabis market in the U.S. is projected to reach over $40 billion by 2025. This growth has been fueled by changing public perceptions of marijuana, increased advocacy for legalization, and significant tax revenues generated by state-legal cannabis sales.

 The Banking Dilemma

Despite this rapid expansion, cannabis businesses face unique challenges, primarily due to their inability to access traditional banking services. Federal law classifies marijuana as a Schedule I controlled substance under the Controlled Substances Act. This classification creates a significant barrier for banks and financial institutions that wish to work with cannabis businesses, as they risk federal penalties for facilitating transactions related to an illegal substance.

As a result, many cannabis companies operate on a cash-only basis. This situation not only poses safety risks—such as increased theft and violence—but also limits these businesses’ ability to manage finances effectively, pay taxes electronically, and build credit histories.

 Legislative Attempts at Reform

One of the most prominent legislative efforts aimed at addressing these banking issues is the Secure and Fair Enforcement (SAFE) Banking Act. First introduced in 2019, the SAFE Banking Act sought to provide protections for banks that serve legal cannabis businesses by preventing federal regulators from penalizing them for doing so.

The act garnered significant bipartisan support in both the House and Senate. In previous sessions of Congress, it passed multiple times in the House but faced hurdles in the Senate due to opposition from certain lawmakers who were concerned about broader implications of marijuana legalization.

In light of ongoing discussions about federal spending and budgetary priorities, advocates had hoped that some version of the SAFE Banking Act would be included in recent spending bills. However, during negotiations leading up to December 2024, a House committee led by Republicans removed any provisions related to marijuana banking protections from key spending legislation.

This decision reflects a broader trend within Congress where discussions around cannabis reform have become increasingly contentious. While there is still bipartisan support for certain aspects of cannabis legislation—particularly when it comes to medical use—more comprehensive reforms like banking protections have struggled to gain traction.

 Implications for Cannabis Businesses

Continued Cash-Only Operations

The removal of banking protections means that many cannabis businesses will continue to operate primarily on a cash basis. This situation presents several challenges:

• Safety Risks: Cash-only operations make cannabis dispensaries and cultivation facilities prime targets for theft and robber Employees often have to handle large amounts of cash daily, increasing their risk of violence.

• Operational Inefficiencies: Without access to banking services, businesses cannot easily manage payroll or pay bills electronically. This inefficiency can lead to operational delays and increased costs.

Impact on Public Safety

Advocates argue that providing banking access would enhance public safety by reducing the amount of cash circulating within the community. By allowing cannabis businesses to deposit their earnings into banks, it would minimize the risks associated with cash transactions, making both employees and customers safer.

Moreover, having a transparent financial system would help law enforcement track illicit activities more effectively. Currently, without proper banking oversight, there are concerns that some cash-only operations may be involved in money laundering or other illegal activities.

Politics and Public Opinion

Changing Attitudes Toward Cannabis

Public opinion on marijuana legalization has shifted dramatically over recent years. According to various polls, a significant majority of Americans now support legalizing marijuana for both medical and recreational use. This shift has put pressure on lawmakers to address outdated federal policies regarding cannabis.

Despite this growing acceptance among the public, political divisions remain strong within Congress regarding how best to approach cannabis reform. Some lawmakers advocate for full legalization at the federal level, while others prefer a more cautious approach that prioritizes regulation over outright legalization.

 The Role of Advocacy Groups

Advocacy groups play a crucial role in pushing for legislative change regarding cannabis banking protections. Organizations such as the National Cannabis Industry Association (NCIA) and Americans for Safe Access (ASA) have been vocal proponents of reforming banking laws to support state-legal cannabis businesses.

These groups have mobilized public support through campaigns highlighting the safety risks associated with cash-only operations and advocating for policies that promote financial inclusion for cannabis entrepreneurs.

Future Prospects for Cannabis Banking Reform

While current congressional efforts have stalled regarding marijuana banking protections, there are still potential avenues for reform:

• Incremental Reforms: Rather than pursuing comprehensive federal legislation like the SAFE Banking Act all at once, lawmakers may consider incremental reforms that address specific issues related to banking access without fully legalizing marijuana at the federal level.

The Role of Public Awareness

As public awareness about the challenges faced by cannabis businesses grows, there may be increased pressure on lawmakers to act decisively on this issue. Continued advocacy efforts can help ensure that banking reform remains a priority on Congress’s agenda.

Conclusion

The decision by Congress not to include marijuana banking protections in its current spending bill underscores ongoing tensions surrounding cannabis legislation in America. While public opinion increasingly favors legalization and reform, political divisions continue to hinder progress on critical issues such as banking access for state-legal marijuana businesses.

As the industry continues to grow despite these challenges, stakeholders must remain vigilant in advocating for change while exploring alternative solutions at both state and federal levels. The future of cannabis banking reform remains uncertain; however, with continued advocacy and public support, there is hope that meaningful progress can be made in addressing these pressing issues facing one of America’s fastest-growing industries.

SAFE BANKING SINCE 2018, WHAT A FAILURE, READ ON…

SAFER BANKING ACT FAILS AGAINS, SAME OF BANANA IN THE TAILPIPE!