How Do You Tell Your Kids You Smoked Weed at Their Age, But They Should Not?

Modern Parenting: Talking to your kids about weed…our use not theirs!

Remember that uncomfortable moment when your parents caught you smoking weed? That dreaded “Talk” that followed – where you sat squirming in your chair while they cycled through concern, disappointment, and those well-worn warnings about the dangers of marijuana. Even though you knew they meant well, it felt like an eternity of awkward silence punctuated by cautionary tales and stern looks.

For those of us who came of age in the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s, this was practically a rite of passage. Getting busted, enduring The Talk, making promises to “never do it again” (fingers firmly crossed behind our backs), and eventually being grounded or punished in some creative way. While our parents were right about waiting until our brains fully developed before experimenting with cannabis, the whole experience was about as pleasant as a bad case of cottonmouth.

But times, they are a-changin’. These days, many of those same kids who got The Talk are now parents themselves – and quite a few of them enjoy cannabis responsibly as adults. This creates an interesting role reversal. Instead of lecturing kids about their weed use, modern parents face the challenge of explaining their own cannabis consumption to their children.

How do you have that conversation? When is the right time? What do you say to a curious 5-year-old who spots your vape pen? How do you address a teenager’s pointed questions about your “hypocritical” stance on underage use?

Today, we’re going to tackle these thorny questions head-on, providing modern parents with age-appropriate strategies for discussing their cannabis use with their kids. Because in 2025, The Talk isn’t just about warning kids away from weed – it’s about modeling responsible adult consumption in an era of increasing acceptance and legalization.

Let’s dive into how to navigate these conversations at different stages of your child’s development.

When it comes to discussing cannabis use with your kids, we can essentially break it down into two major developmental stages. Sure, we could slice and dice age groups into smaller segments, but we’d just end up rehashing variations of the same conversation. For simplicity’s sake, let’s focus on “Pre-Teen” (ages 3-12) and “Teen” (13-19), though you’ll need to adjust these guidelines based on your child’s individual development.

During those early years, less is definitely more. Your five-year-old doesn’t need a detailed explanation of the endocannabinoid system or terpene profiles. A simple “It’s Mommy’s medicine” or “It helps Daddy’s back pain” usually suffices. Kids this age are generally satisfied with straightforward, matter-of-fact explanations that fit within their understanding of the world.

However – and this is crucial – don’t fool yourself into thinking they’re not paying attention. Kids are like tiny surveillance cameras with unlimited storage capacity. They notice everything, even when you think they’re absorbed in their LEGOs or favorite cartoon.

I’ll never forget a scene I witnessed in San Pancho, a laid-back surf town in Mexico. At some local’s gathering, I watched in amazement as toddlers perfectly mimicked their cannabis-consuming parents – right down to the characteristic head bob, half-lidded eyes, and that unmistakable “stoned” expression. They weren’t judging; they were just doing what kids do best: observing and imitating.

This brings me to the most critical point about handling cannabis use during your children’s early years: it’s less about what you say and more about how you behave. Your actions will shape their perceptions far more than any explanation you provide.

If you can consume cannabis while maintaining your role as a responsible, present, and reliable parent – if you’re still helping with homework, making dinner, playing games, and being their rock of stability – then you’re sending the right message. Kids don’t need you to be perfect, but they do need you to be consistent and dependable.

The goal isn’t to hide your cannabis use but to demonstrate that it doesn’t fundamentally change who you are or your ability to be their parent. If you can maintain your composure, fulfill your responsibilities, and avoid turning into a stereotype (looking at you, couch-locked snack attackers), your kids are likely to view cannabis as just another aspect of adult life – no more dramatic or concerning than having a glass of wine with dinner.

This approach, combined with age-appropriate explanations, should carry you through the pre-teen years fairly smoothly. But fair warning: once those teenage years hit and complex reasoning kicks in, you’re in for a whole new ballgame. But we’ll get to that particular joy in a moment.

“You don’t pay her!” (Sorry, couldn’t resist the dad joke.) But all humor aside, welcome to the psychological warzone known as “The Teen Years.” If you thought explaining cannabis to your pre-teen was tricky, buckle up – you’re in for a wild ride.

What makes teenagers so different? In a word: everything. By thirteen, your sweet, accepting child has morphed into a walking paradox of complex reasoning and questionable decision-making. They’re developing their own opinions, challenging social norms, and thanks to the hormone monster residing in their developing brains, experiencing emotions with the intensity of a Michael Bay explosion.

Let’s be real – teenagers aren’t exactly operating at peak cognitive efficiency. And I say this with love, having been a spectacularly dumb teenager myself. Between raging hormones, peer pressure, and the desperate need to seem “cool,” their decision-making abilities often resemble a game of darts played blindfolded.

Here’s the kicker – at some point, your teen will encounter cannabis in the wild. Maybe at a party, behind the school gym, or through that one friend whose older brother “totally knows what he’s talking about.” They’ll be exposed to various narratives about weed, many of them wildly inaccurate. This is precisely why you need to step up your game and establish clear guidelines about responsible drug use.

Your message should be straightforward: Cannabis, like alcohol, is primarily for adults. Yes, it has medical applications for some young people, but recreational use should wait until their brains are fully developed. I recommend taking it a step further – tell them you’d love to be their first smoking buddy… when they’re old enough. This might sound counterintuitive, but it accomplishes two things: it acknowledges their future autonomy while establishing a clear boundary about present use.

This is also the time to have broader conversations about drugs in general. Don’t just stop at cannabis – discuss the good, the bad, and the ugly. Talk about different substances, the people who use them, and the various situations they might encounter. Not to frighten them, but to prepare them for the real world they’re about to enter.

The goal isn’t to lecture but to equip them with knowledge and critical thinking skills. They’re going to face these situations without you present, and you want them prepared to make informed decisions.

However – and this is crucial – read the room. If your kid innocently asks why you use cannabis, maybe hold off on sharing that wild story about the time you ate an entire pizza while convinced your cat was plotting against you. Keep it age-appropriate and relevant to their level of curiosity.

Remember, you’re not just teaching them about cannabis – you’re modeling how to have mature, honest conversations about complex topics. And in the hormone-addled battlefield of adolescence, that’s worth its weight in gold.

Here’s a plot twist that might surprise you – today’s kids are actually more straight-edge than we were. They’re drinking less, experimenting with fewer drugs, and even putting off sex longer than previous generations. Who would’ve thought that unlimited access to TikTok and social media would make getting high seem less appealing?

The irony isn’t lost on me. Just as us former “rebellious stoners” have become responsible cannabis-consuming parents, our kids are more likely to be found coding an app than hotboxing behind the gym. And let’s be honest – that’s probably a good thing.

But this shift in youth behavior coincides with a massive transformation in how society views cannabis. The plant that once sparked nationwide panic is now as commonplace as craft beer in many states. The “devil’s lettuce” has gone mainstream, and with it, our need to have more nuanced, honest conversations with our kids about its use.

Being upfront about your cannabis consumption isn’t about promoting drug use – it’s about fostering trust and open dialogue with your children. By discussing your own use responsibly and age-appropriately, you’re not just explaining a plant; you’re teaching critical thinking, personal responsibility, and the importance of making informed decisions.

It’s time to ditch the old taboos and stop pretending our teenagers are living in a bubble of innocence. The world they’re growing up in is complex, often chaotic, and full of choices we never had to face. The best gift we can give them isn’t protection from these realities, but the knowledge and confidence to navigate them wisely.

Because ultimately, that’s what good parenting is about – not shielding our kids from the world, but preparing them to face it head-on, armed with understanding, wisdom, and the ability to make smart choices. Even if that means having some uncomfortable conversations about your own relationship with cannabis along the way.

Inspiration:

https://www.reddit.com/r/entwives/comments/1i4gtx7/

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