It is rare for someone to go through life without running into someone who is dull – but to figure out if you are the boring one!

Nothing is worse than being stuck in a meeting, at a dinner, or in a car with someone who is dull and boring. They can’t help it, but they can make the best topics tiresome and miserable.  But what if you discovered you are the boring one?  At some point, lack of energy, mind somewhere else, and other things can make one temporarily dull. But it is being dull in the long term which is painful for you and others.  Here is how to figure out if you are boring.

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The University of Essex in the UK published a paper on traits of dull people. Published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, it covered personal traits and the dullest hobbies (top ones – watching TV, bird watching and smoking). Most people (53%) have 1-4 close friends, (38%) say they have five or more. Some 8% say they have no close friends. You can help not only friendships but family and partner relationships but following this advice.

Listening Skills

Boring people are poor conversationalists, and poor conversationalists tend to be the worst listeners. Communication is as much about talking as it is about being silent and listening to what the other person is saying. An engaging conversation isn’t one filled with the funniest jokes and the most interesting stories, it’s one where there is an exchange of ideas and conversations. Discover a curious streak and you will learn and time will become more interesting.  Ask relevant questions and let those in the know express themselves.

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Practice patience

Conversations are not competitions, rather it is a way to learn and engage with others. Basic “your turn, my turn” conversation etiquette is taught from a young age. It is no surprise some people have no self-control and allow themselves to take over conversations without giving the others a chance to speak. Work on controlling impulses and push yourself to listen to others.

On the flip side, if your problem is too shy and have a hard time opening up, try to practice and to find ways of making yourself more accessible and of speaking your mind.  Practice with family or friends making conversation, read information and explore things which of interest.

Pay attention

Keep an eye out for people’s body languages whenever you’re talking. If they look distracted, are avoiding eye contact and keep on trying to change the subject then you are probably acting very annoying and boring. Train yourself to pick up on these hints and social cues and try to avoid overstaying your conversational welcome. It is ok to move on, sometimes it is you, sometimes it is them…but being aware can shorten a tough situation.

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Build boundaries

Balance is one of the most important parts of conversations but it’s also pretty hard to define. Vulnerability is needed for a meaningful exchange, but too much of it and it’s kind of disastrous. Think about what you are talking about on consistent basis.

Complaining about how awful your life is and how unfair your job will not gain you any friends, even if this is a common behavior. Always aim for sincerity and get to know your audience; don’t tell a stranger your deepest and darkest secrets.

Sunday is Mother’s Day – the day mom are celebrated for all the extra effort they do to make kids life special.  First celebrated in 1907, it became official in the US in 1914 and Canada in 1915.  Between the two countries, spending is expected to reach an all-time high of $35.7 billion this year.  Some of it will be enjoyed, some may not. Here are the 5 best Mom’s love language gifts (and one might be weed!).

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 This love language is all about verbal acknowledgments of affection, compliments, words of appreciation and encouragement.  

Words of Affirmation

Try a special way to tell her you love her. Make a book (easy to do online) of special pictures of the two of you. Write her a letter about what she means to you. You can get her favorite podcast host or even reality TV star to send her a special Mother’s Day shoutout (check out Cameo and all the celebrities they have available). Or consider compiling a video from all the kids and family answer the question ‘why we love you.’ 

Receiving Gifts 

These people enjoy receiving gifts and symbols of love. Monetary value is usually not important but more so the thought and reflection behind the gift.  

You can spoil her with luxury and a gift she would never buy herself. While gifts don’t need to be expensive, treat her to something luxurious that you know she wouldn’t want to spend the money on for herself. Think of what she loves and work around it.  Gift cards for books, music, travel, etc can show you want her to enjoy life.

Another thing, what about giving a gift which could help their sleep, mental health or manage pain.  A gummy or edible would be a perfect gift.  Maybe a CBD cream which could help with muscle soreness?

Quality Time 

People who enjoy this love language want someone to spend uninterrupted time with them, make plans and be fully present in their conversations during these times.  Give a gift of an all-inclusive day.  Give a Saturday which could include brunch, a walk, and more.

Gift a unique experience. Anyone can plan brunch or a wine tasting but what about surprising mom with something special. Some ideas include a picnic or colorful charcuterie board with all her favorite foods, a self-portrait session or a local food tour.  

Acts of Service

This love language includes doing favors or taking the burden off the person you are showing love to.  Will cook a special meal, take them a car trip, doing garden together, anything which your Mom would love to do.

Touch 

These people feel loved when they receive physical signs of affection, including kissing, holding hands, and cuddling, to name a few. 

Spoil her with a gift that will make her senses go crazy. While a spa day may seem obvious here and certainly fits the bill, you can also try something unique such as dance classes or something to make her feel extra cozy such as a weighted blanket, robe or new luxury sheets.   

There are many new and fun ways to spoil mom this year. Take it to the next level this time around by considering what will make them feel most loved.